Different parents employ different parenting styles and techniques. The techniques parents choose, depend on cultural and community standards, the situation, and the children’s behaviour at the time. The techniques that parents use to relate to their children are characterized by degrees of parental control and parental warmth.
Parental control involves the degree to which parents are restrictive in their use of parenting techniques, and parental warmth involves the degree to which they are loving, affectionate, and approving in their use of these techniques.
Authoritarian parents demonstrate high parental control and low parental warmth when parenting. Permissive parents demonstrate high parental warmth and low parental control when parenting. Indifferent parents demonstrate low parental control and low warmth. Authoritative parents, however, demonstrate appropriate levels of both parental control and warmth.
Parenting styles have a definite impact on children. The authoritative style of parenting fosters open communication and problem solving between parents and their children. In contrast, authoritarian parenting may produce fearful and dependent children.
Permissive parenting may result in rebellious children. And indifferent parenting may render hostile and delinquent children. In two-parent families, in which each parent has a different parenting style, one parent’s style often positively counterbalances the other parent’s style. For instance, a woman’s permissive style may counterbalance her husband’s authoritarian style.
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Parents normally have the earliest and strongest influence on the socio-emotion of a child. There can be times when you as a teacher will be asked to give parents advice. There also might be times when it is helpful for you as a teacher to understand how parents are rearing their children and the effects this has on the children.
It’s time now we discuss parenting styles that have influences on the emotional development of a child. Let us try to explore four types of parenting styles.
(i) Authoritarian parenting is restrictive and punitive. It is a style in which parent’s authority matters. Parents exhort children to follow their instructions and respect them. They place firm limits and control of their children and allow little verbal exchange. For example, an authoritarian parent might say, “Do what I say only, otherwise you will see!” or, “I say call Lusekelo, no discussion/” This kind of parent is accompanied with frequent use of punishment. Children with this kind of parenting are likely to behave in socially incompetent ways; they fail to initiate activity and may have poor communication skills.
(ii) Authoritative parenting encourages children to be independent but still places limits and controls on their actions. Verbal communication and bargaining are allowed. In this style, parents are supportive and nurturing. Respect for children’s abilities and parental directions are involved. An authoritative parent might put an arm around the child and say, “You should have not done that Debora. Next time don’t do it that way! If you do I will punish you, ok!” Children of authoritarian parents often behave in socially very competent ways. They tend to be self-reliant, get along with peers and show high self-esteem.
(iii) Neglectful parenting is a style in which parents are not involved in their children’s lives. Sometimes they usually come late at home. They do not even ask where are the children and what are they doing. The children under this parenting style behave in incompetent ways. They tend to have poor self control and may be very stubborn and misbehave. They actually achieve nothing.
(iv) Indulgent parenting (Sometimes known as permissive)is a parenting style in which parents are highly involved with their children but place few limits or restrictions on their behaviors. These parents often let their children do what they want, wear what they want and eat what they want. For example, you can hear a child saying, “Mom, today I will never eat ugali, I want only rice, no more!”
Then you can hear the mother ordering the house girl, “Hallow Yusta, cook rice for Emmanuel quickly!” Under this parenting style, children are given much freedom. The result of this kind of parenting is that the children usually do not learn to control their own behavior. These parents do not take into account the development of their whole aspects of the child.
In addition to parents and family members, peers also play powerful role in child’s emotional development. In fact, peers form the second strong influence to child’s socioemotional development.
Who are peers, though? Peers are children who are roughly the same age or maturity level as you are. Similar-age peer connections have a special function. The ability to compare and gather information about the world outside of the family is one of the peer group’s most crucial roles. It’s possible that healthy peer relationships are essential for development. Numerous socio-emotional issues and diseases, including delinquency and depressions, can be brought on by social isolation or a child’s inability to interact with peers. Children can interact with others whose levels of development or maturity are similar through peer play.
Centre to socio relationship between peers during childhood, one of major aspects of socio-emotional development is brought by friendships. Between ages of 3 – 7 children view friends as momentary playmates. Friendships contribute a lot in emotional development of children.
• It provides companionship. It gives a familiar partner, someone who is willing to spend time with them and join in plays.
• It provides physical support such as play resources
• It provides social approval and helps children feel competent
• It provides intimacy and affections. It gives warmth, trusting, close relationship with others and children therefore feel comfortable.
Having friends can be developmental but not all friends are alike. Not all friends are good. Some of them are very aggressive and they can destroy good behavior of other children.
When a child reaches school-going age he/she must be sent to school. There he/she will meet another kind of ‘family’. In school children spend many years as member of a small society that produces a strong influence on their social and emotional development. The classroom still remains to be the main context for socio-emotion development in schools.
The child interacts with teachers and fellow class members. As children move to high-level classes such as for Tanzania, standard two or standard three, the school environment increases in scope and complexity. The social field is now the whole school, not just a classroom. Interactions become wide, ranging from negative to positive interactions that can affect the socio-emotional development of a particular child.
The emotional state has the power to open or close access to learning, memory, and the ability to make novel connections. Faced with frustration, despair, worry, sadness, or shame, kids lose access to their own memory, reasoning, and the capacity to make connections.
The mere prospect of being asked to read aloud in class is enough to freeze some pupils. Having to take a written test or exam, with its combined requirements for memory, reasoning, handwriting, planning and organization, can lock out some pupils. The sight of a math word problem knocks some kids sideways. Scared kids perform poorly, and don’t learn new information well. Anxiety is the enemy of memory. And, sadly, in many of today’s classrooms, we see children whose intellectual energies and capacities are drained by negative emotional states. Emotion is the on / off switch for learning.
Deep, emotional attachment to a subject area allows a deeper understanding of the material and therefore, learning occurs and lasts. When reading, the emotions one is feeling in comparison to the emotions being portrayed in the content affects one’s comprehension. Someone who is feeling sad will understand a sad passage better than someone feeling happy. Therefore, a student’s emotion plays a big role during the learning process.
The role of teachers is to enhance children’s self-control, self-esteem and positive thinking about others by using positive guidance techniques such as modeling and encouraging expected behavior. Other procedures a teacher may take include redirecting children to a more acceptable activity and setting clear limits.
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